bear with me
Wed, 26 Oct 2011 25 Comments I am sitting here trying to get a post done for the blog's main page and I am suddenly having a complete meltdown (tears and everything) over this f*cking French test I have next week. This has been the most frustrating and stressful thing I have ever gone through in my entire life. I have endured 8 years of this linguistic hell. I cannot believe the Canadian government puts public servants through this. I have busted my ass working for the same group for my entire career as a public servant (I think almost 9 years now) and I am finally in a position where I really feel like I'm doing something I enjoy. Now I may be forced to leave because I cannot ace a goddamn verbal French test (might I add that I have never had to speak French at work in all this time). I want to keep this job, my boss wants me to keep this job, and I am fairly certain the team I supervise wants me to keep this job. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE???
Reader Comments (25)
GOOD LUCK!!!!!! I'm not long back from a week in France and all I could master was bonjour and how to order a citron and sucre crepe.
Now you have me tearing up too buddy. If anyone knows how horrendous the public service can be and have an insight into what you are going through it's me. The difference is is that I have 6 months off now (well in one days time). To get it though I had to take leave without pay. The powers that be didn't give a shit about my health. Wouldn't do anything for me. They just worried about their job, their workload, their "problems" caused by my problems. Bureaucracy is immovable and bloody minded. The thing is I know you will get through this and blitz this test. It is always about policy and never about people.
Just remember you can always immigrate to Australia ... and work for the Australian government :P Stop crying, have several stiff drinks and don't do anymore posts until the exam is over. Maybe a massage or a pedi and facial ...yum. A Brazilian and swear in fluent French? I can cover the blog. After all after tomorrow I am FREE!
The worst of it is I SUCK at interviews and this test is pretty much an interview. I hesitate alot when I am nervous and that is why I cannot get the mark I need. The evaluator assumes that hesitation means you don't know your French well enough, whereas in my case I don't really know WTF to say cause I am as nervous as hell.
Anyhoo, whatever, I am over it. Whatever the outcome is I will just have to suck it up and deal with it. Thank you Kathy (LOL), and Jo for all your support, as you certainly do have an idea of what I am going through. If I didn't have this whole house redo thing to get started on, I think I may have joined you on a long break.
Oh Kim....I have been there myself. Struggled to get my levels as well. So stressed so many times (had to do it to get my first job, and then recently to secure this promotion). All I can suggest is that you do an immersion - read decor mags, newspapers, design blogs in French, speak French at work, read and write emails in French, watch French TV...it actually helps (have done it before each test). Also, get a warm up person, so the first hour or so before the test make sure that you are speaking only French so that you don`t go in cold. (Although one "advantage" I have had is that I am hard of hearing, so I have been able to request some accomodations, including a condusive space etc. But ask if you can change the location to minimize your stress levels. They are supposed to accomodate you). I hope that these suggestions help. You are not alone. The blogosphere is rooting for you too!
Hey! My cousin is in ottawa going through the exact same hell, french tests and meltdowns and all. I wish you both the best luck and send you encouraging hugs :(
Thanks for the tips Michele! I did request that the test be done over the phone as I had to do it that way last time (they were swamped) and it seemed a little less nervewracking.
Thanks Annie and lots of luck to your cousin!
Kim,
I'm really surprised to hear that you want to do your test over the phone as I find this much more difficult when speaking French or Spanish. I have a terrible ear and for me it's soooo much easier to understand in person.
Here's an anecdote for your amusement. I was once chairing a meeting entirely in Spanish with a bunch of people I didn't know personally. Afterwards, two Argentinians approached me and asked where I had learned to speak Spanish. When I told them they said "Oh, we were just wondering because your Spanish is really excellent but it sounds like you learned it in China!" So much for the quality of my accent!
Good luck.
Lin - LOL!
In high school (and maybe elementary school?) I was in the French Immersion program so I have a great ear for the language, and I aced the written and comprehension tests 2 years ago. So taking the test over the phone helps me because I don't have to worry about my nerves in front of the evaluator and I can stare at my notes instead of making eye contact.
Kim, I recommend laughter as the best medicine. Watch some french comedies and let that fabulous sense of humor take the lead. Success is already yours, you have studied and proven your competence already. Bonne chance!
Along with the laughter, sing at the top of your lungs. This loosens up your vocal cords and relaxes you. On my way to make a speech in front of a strange audience, I always do this and it really helps -- even though I sing off-key!
Hi Kim,
I have been following your blog for almost 1 year. I feel your pain. I did the language tests but I had to get my English levels. My trick for you is when you are having the conversation, don't try to formulate your response as the person is asking you the question (one of my faults). Listen, really listen to what the person is telling you. Pause (translate in your head) and do your best. I am offering you my help if you are looking for someone to speak to in French (we can talk about home stuff as I loooove home decor and fashion as well) or we can talk about shoes!!! I work for the federal government as well and see what my colleagues go through to get their levels.
Little anecdote for you...I had the brilliant idea to take an accounting course with Algonquin (hadn't been to school in 15 years) and had my exam this past Wednesday. I was up at 3 am with a migraine, throwing up and major stomach pains. I told my kids to put whatever they wanted in their lunchboxes (to their delight), dragged my ass to the college and cried the whole way there and was driving with a bucket on the passenger seat. I did my exam with the garbage can under my desk to the horror of my fellow students! I felt little better afterwards but am swearing off studies for a while.
I feel for you. French is my mother tongue and I know how brutal it is to learn.
One day at a time. Us Frenchies are so happy when people around us make the effort to speak our language, whether it's full of errors or not, it doesn't matter, at least you are trying and with practice, you get better and better. Read magazines in French and ask your friends questions. I will help you do this if you want.
You can do it! You have 2 choices: say "f*-it, I'm not doing this" or "I will do this, I can do this" and then have a glass of wine!
Thanks so much for the offer to chat en francais Melz, but I just finished my training today (a whopping 18.5 days) and now I only have 4 days to cram for the test.
Dear gawd your exam experience sounds like a complete nightmare!!
I am jealous at your obvious fluency in a second language. I wish my parents had of stuck us kids in French school instead of just immersion. Would have made my life SOOO much easier.
Oh, I'm sorry you are having a tough time with the French! I bet you do much better than you think you will. Would it help to watch a great French language movie, like Umbrellas of Cherbourg?
Or to make it more rewarding for you, how about if you pass the test, you get those divine suede boots?
I wish I had time for fun french movies. Too much studying to do.
I have been thinking that I deserve a treat for all this stress - and I might stop at Holts on my way back from the test and buy a really expensive handbag or come home and order those boots. :-) (Although it's been a month now and I am STILL waiting for my Fluevogs to come in...I had heard it would be this week....and I haven't paid for those yet....)
Or try a little DIY immersion and spend the weekend in Montreal, speaking nothing but french.
Oh Kim, that sucks just so much, unlike the other commenters I have no pearls of wisdom to offer but agree with Jo on the drinks...nothing like it to take the edge off. All you can hope for is you get a really nice examiner. I remember when I went for my drivers licence (after openning my own business and having three children
so I wasn't young) I was so nervous...I told the examiner just how much I needed to pass for my family and job and how nervous I was and I think if it wasn't for telling him I really would not have passed...nothing like a bit of sympathy. Maybe if you tell the examiner how much you love your job and how much you love the people you work with, plus how nervous you are they will go easy on you...good luck xxx Katherine
We'll all be thinking of you, Kim. Best of all would be to chat w someone from your dept who knows the lingo they'll be using, I suppose. But if you wanna just ramble in French for an hour beforehand like Ottawa alternagrrrl and Melz suggested, let's set something up!
Thanks everyone for your support and offers to chat it up with me en francais. I bombed the test this morning. I was doomed from the moment I walked into the room. One problem after another (and I'm not even talking about my French). Anyway, I am pissed off but at least it is over and I can have my life back.
Le français, c'est pas très compliqué, je suis sûre que vous allez y arriver!!! Bon courage, fingers crossed...
Une fidèle lectrice de Paris ;)
Sorry to learn that it didn't go well. I'm French and I once worked for a bilingual administration bureau, except it was French and German. (Yeah, German. Enough said.) I can totally relate...
Administration and public service can be a total nonsense sometimes. Hope you'll be ok.
I`m so sorry. Take care - hope you still stopped at Holt`s for a little pick-me-up.
I was too pissed off to stop at Holts believe it or not. But when I got home I got a call that my Fluevog boots were in. Once this miserable weather lets up I'll get the hubby to take a pic of me sportin' them. They are HOT!!! :)
SH*T! Sometimes it doesn't matter how hard you try, things happen and mess up your plan. I hope that you will be granted another try. Keep practicing otherwise you'll forget what you learned (or maybe you want to forget this whole thing!)
Keep blogging, keep posting pics of your awesome buys. I wear size 11 and will never ever be able to find and buy nice shoes-I have tried and failed many many times. I love seing what you buy.
If you can redo your test, my offer still stands to help you practice your French.
CWap! Sorry to hear that, Kim.
I know though that you seem to find a way to turn things around somehow... You'll do it here, too.
oh gosh, if you didn't make it, I have no hope! So sorry to hear about your test :( the boots are awesome though