A dedication
Mon, 14 May 2012I'd like to dedicate today's pets on furniture posts to Tom, my latest stray who sadly lost his life Friday. I wanted to share his story, as traumatic as it was for me, because if I can get even a few people out there who come across a stray animal in need to do what they can to help, then I can feel Tom's death wasn't for nothing. Because it hurts alot that I wasn't able to help him in time.
Friday I didn't go to work due to an excruciating muscle spasm in my neck. I really believe I was meant to be home that day. Tom started visiting us in the winter, coming by randomly. Then about 2 months ago he suddenly decided he liked us and started to come by twice a day, for breakfast and dinner. He let me pet him until I gave him his food, then would take off to go galivanting in my 'hood, looking for the ladies (he wasn't neutered). Then about a week and a half ago he stopped showing up. I was really worried about him. Suddenly, Friday at noon he showed up. I looked outside and saw him laying on the driveway with his head down. I knew something was wrong. I grabbed some food and went outside to find him very lathargic and not interested in eating at all. His back end was crusty and he smelled like pee (he was usually a pretty well kept cat for a stray). All he wanted to do was sleep. I noticed his nose was runny and he was shivering. I called the vets and told them I had to bring him in ASAP. While waiting for my husband to show up I brought him inside into my powder room (away from my 7 cats) - he was totally unphased by this, put his head down and tried to sleep. He had never been in my house before so I knew he was really sick. When we got him into the cage, he started shaking really badly (from shock) and we realized he was worse off than we thought. We rushed him outside where he started making odd noises and then stopped breathing. I broke down, and then when I went to double-check his breathing I noticed he was breathing again. We raced him to the vets and on the way he was gagging and choking and having a hard time breathing. He was basically dying in my lap. The vet is luckily only a 5 minute drive away but they could not save him. He had a blocked bladder - it was huge and filled with blood. This caused kidney failure. He didn't have a chance. I honestly think he showed up in my driveway that day to die, with us, because we were the only ones who cared. I know we did what we could but I can't help but feel guilty that we didn't try sooner to get him off the streets and find him a home. He would have made a great pet.
I had a sinking feeling this wasn't going to end well, so I snapped a photo of Tom in my bathroom while I waited for my husband to get home.
He deserved better - he deserved to live. Tom, love you buddy. I'm so sorry.
Reader Comments (49)
Oh my gosh, that's horrible but you should not feel guilty. You should be proud you helped sweet Tom into the next life. I've had to do this multiple times and it's always awful. I feel for you. But thank you for helping the little guy as best you could.
I'm so glad you could be with him in his time of need. That is just incredibly sad, about him dying. You have nothing to feel guilty about. He knew he was being cared for, and you took care of him as much as you could. Animals hurting breaks my heart.
I terribly know what you are feeling... It`s so sad and they live us with part of our heart too.
I always have several cats and still now can`t deal with that awful fact. Wish you all the best and keep Tom in your heart.
Lina
I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for caring and for being there for Tom.
Don't feel bad sweetie...he chose his life...he chose you and at the end of his life, he chose to be with you. RIP little Tom...
Oh, poor little guy. You did all you could. I hope there is an animal heaven, and I'm glad to hear you gave him some love in his life.
I´m teribly sorry for your loss. I´m sure little Tom lived his life to the fullest, he was even able to find you, someone who cared and loved him. Here´s a big hug !!
RIP Tom. It's really sad to hear about his departure but I'm sure he was glad to have spent his time with you, because you cared.
I'm sorry to hear about Tom... I'm glad that he found you in the end
I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you and to Tom.
Just remember, because of you, he wasn't alone. He was in the company of good, caring people when he passed and everyone deserves that.
Don't feel guilty that you didn't find him a home because you did. It was with you. You showed him love, compassion, security, and food. I have cats. Food is a big deal.
There should be more people who care like you do in this world. Thank you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Animals leave a permanent mark on our hearts, and it's so difficult to see them go. Please take comfort in knowing that Tom knew you loved him, and trusted you to care for him in his time of need. He was a lucky guy. Hope you feel better soon!
Lara
I am really sorry Kim...I just can´t stop crying after reading this entry.
Sweet Tom, may he rest in peace. You are a good woman.
I didn't expect to be sitting here with tears running down my face
not on Pets on Furniture monday.
But such is the power of animals we come to love AND
the wonderful prople like yourself who do their best to help them.
We do all we can and hope for the best.
Thanks everyone for your kind comments. I'm starting to feel a little less guilty....and a little less like a big cry baby. I keep having flashbacks of what happened and the tears start to come each time. Gawd it was awful. To feel so helpless. And to see him suffering and not be able to do anything.
I miss him :( (and there goes my eyes again...)
I'm so sorry for little Tom and you. I truly feel your pain. I have never gotton over the deaths of any animals I've known and loved. I wish I could have done more for all of them. I feel guilty I didn't recognize the first indications and onset of illnesses or injury. In some cases, I feel guilty for misdiagnosis by their vets. I was the animals only advocate and I will always feel I failed. I will always feel I could have done more.
The only way I get through it, not over it, is to continue to help strays and to adopt in their honor. I honor their lives. They were important beings, they were loved and their lives had an impact.
They grace us with their presence and make us better people.
I wish I could alleviate your pain. I know you will continue to make a difference in many more animals lives. Thank you Kim.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I have two little kitties of my own, and the thought of losing them makes me teary-eyed. Tom obviously cared about you very much, and was lucky to have strayed upon your caring doorstep. I wish you the best during this difficult time.
I just cried like a pig. I think you have a heart of gold for taking care of all those little angels. In our home we do exactly the same, basically all creatures are welcomed to water, food and shelter & spay/neuter if they are friendly enough for us to catch them.
Whenever one of the true strays (feral) stops showing up I worry sick. I think this is more of an issue here in Florida because it is warmer weather so they can get by much easier than in colder climates.
My heart goes out to you & I agree that it was meant to happen that way, sad as it is, but also remember that Tom was lucky to know the hand (and heart) of kindness in his life. Okay, gotta stop, I am sobbing again.
Sounds like this baby knew where to come for help and compassion when he could no longer be independent, and you gave in spades. Giving the most means facing the worst with them so they are not left to die uncaredfor. So sorry you had this hurtful experience but glad you were brave enough to face it and act. Tom was loved well when he needed it most. You two did good.
Thank you for this beautiful post. The story made me teary eyed, it reminded me loosing my cat of 15 years. I think one never gets over these things completely. But still, we must make place in our lives and our hears for new pets, even though they leave us so untimely. You were there for Tom when he chose to involve you. This is what matters.
Tom did come back to you and it's very moving how you helped him to be as comfortable as possible in such a terrible situation.
I too feel that you were meant to be home that day. You were Tom's place to go...lucky Tom.
Death always choose his very own stories. It happened to me and my beloved cat Bonnie and it finds me still crying after years because it hurts so deeply. I learned that Death loves to play his serious games in an area where not every question has an answer.
Sleep well little one.
You have been loved and you will be loved forever.
And thank you for the love you gave to this world.
Oh my gosh, I can't stop crying..
I just has to go and get my cats and kiss and kiss them.
You are a remarkable woman and you do your veyr best helping those who need it.
I live in Norway in a little city where there is not a lot of strays, but I also do my very best making sure no one goes hungry or sick.
Rest in peace, dear Tom.
After reading this, I need to share what happened to us last week. We've lost our beloved schnauzer dog, Dorka. After an almost 10-day-long fight, she passed away, left us stunned... I have never cried as hard as then.
Pets are our gifts from God. Rest in piece, dear Tom.